DADS DOING DISHES

Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood: A Friend With Lessons for Parents and Children

My son and daughter were in the living room peacefully watching a show on YouTube Kids. “All is under control,” I thought, so I stepped out of the room for a few minutes. As I returned, I heard yelling and crashing noises coming from the TV. My children were now watching an amateur homemade video on YouTube Kids, showing random children throwing and smashing Hot Wheels cars – my son had put the video on when I left the room. The show was loud, obnoxious and pointless. Something about this show, in particular, triggered me, and I started yelling at the kids about watching “garbage” on YouTube Kids. Yes, some of the anger was misplaced because it was my fault for not being more vigilant. However, during my rant, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood came to my mind. I remembered seeing the program on the PBS Kids app. I turned on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood and heard that familiar comforting music.

You Are Special

I was transported back to my childhood and remembered lying on my stomach, on the carpeted floor, of my childhood home’s living room, in front of the television, watching as Mr. Rogers spoke to me. I watched as he changed out of his sports coat and into his sweater and then put on his blue sneakers. This was so familiar. This felt safe.

The first episode we watched was “How People Make Crayons.” The video was a bit dated in regard to making of crayons, but it was interesting to watch and it explored other topics. The program encouraged creativity and artistry, highlighting crayons as a tool for self-expression and imagination. Above all, Mr. Rogers encouraged the viewers to not just imagine, but to get up and act. Finally, Mr. Rogers ended the episode by looking right at us and singing “You Are Special.”

You Are Special

You are my friend

You are special.

You are my friend

You’re special to me.

You are the only one like you.

Like you, my friend, I like you.

In the daytime,

In the nighttime,

Any time that you feel’s the right time.

For a friendship with me, you see

F-R-I-E-N-D special

You are my friend,

You’re special to me.

There’s only one in this wonderful world

You are special.

 

Music and Lyrics by Fred M. Rogers. © McFeely-Rogers Foundation. All Rights Reserved.

This made me emotional. When was the last time someone looked right at you and told you “you are special”? My children were silent. I wondered what my kids were thinking. We were insulated from the madness of today’s world. Everything and everyone were calm.  Without saying a word, I started another episode.

In the next episode, Mr. Rogers explored music, musical instruments and visited musician Yo Yo Ma. My kids sat next to me silently watching Mr. Rogers. I thought to myself, Mr. Rogers was a gift and it was my fault I had not introduced my children to him sooner. My son still asks me questions about Yo Yo Ma and the Cello.

Looking Back at Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood

The show ran for nearly 40 years. Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood premiered in 1968 and continued until 2001, making it one of the longest-running children’s television series in history.

Mr. Rogers was an advocate for children’s education. If you watch his testimony, before Congress in 1969, to advocate for increased funding for public television, you can see how concerned he was about what children watch on television.

Nothing on the show happened by accident. Mr. Rogers went to great lengths to make sure the show was suitable for children and regularly consulted with Margaret McFarland Phd. According to David Camp, McFarland used her background in child psychology to influence the presentation of the material on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Mr. Rogers made his entrance at the beginning of each episode from screen left to screen right because McFarland said that mirrored the way a child’s eyes moved when reading. (Kamp, David (2020). Sunny Days: The Children’s Television Revolution That Changed America.)

Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood covered many topics. From things as simple as getting a haircut to the feelings siblings have about each other. Fred Rogers didn’t shy away from addressing social issues. Episodes tackled topics like racism, disability, and even the assassination of Robert Kennedy, helping children understand and process difficult events.

In episode 1478 “Talk About Divorce: A Boy in a Wheelchair Visits” Mr. Rogers showed us electric cars – yes, in February1981 he featured an electric car. He then spoke about divorce and visited with 10-year-old Jeff Erlanger. The visit with Erlanger is said to be one of the most memorable scenes in the program’s history.  Mr. Rogers and Erlanger discussed Erlanger’s handicap – the scene was not scripted – and sang “It’s You I Like.”

It's You I Like

It’s you I like,
It’s not the things you wear,
It’s not the way you do your hair,
But it’s you I like.
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you.
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys,
They’re just beside you.

But it’s you I like.
Every part of you.
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you’ll remember,
Even when you’re feeling blue.
That it’s you I like,
It’s you yourself
It’s you.
It’s you I like.

Music and Lyrics by Fred M. Rogers. © McFeely-Rogers Foundation. All Rights Reserved.

In 1999, when Mr. Rogers was being introduced into the TV Hall of Fame, Erlanger was the surprise guest who introduced Mr. Rogers.

Lifelong Friends

Mr. Rogers is my friend. I was lucky to get have him as my friend growing up. I am lucky that my kids will have him as a friend as well.

There is no better way to end, but to hear directly from Mr. Rogers. Here is an excerpt from one his last recorded messages at WQED studios before he passed away in 2003. As a parent, his words carry great hope.

“… I know some days how tough it is to look with hope and confidence on the months and years ahead. But I would like to tell you what I often told you when you were much younger. I like you just the way you are. And what’s more, I’m so grateful to you for helping the children in your life to know that you’ll do everything you can to keep them safe. And to help them express their feelings in ways that will bring healing in many different neighborhoods. It’s such a good feeling to know that we’re lifelong friends.”

Fred Rogers

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