My son turned five recently – it is amazing how quickly five years have passed. On his birthday, I grabbed him and picked him up. I wouldn’t say I had a problem picking him up, but I was caught off guard by how how much effort it took to lift him into my arms. I did not remember him being so heavy. For him, it was probably just another hug in his dad’s arms. For me, it was much deeper. So many thoughts ran through my head, “I haven’t done this in a while. How did he get so big? When will be the last time I get to pick him up?” It was a bittersweet reminder that my son was getting bigger, and soon enough, I would not be able to pick him up. I hugged him tighter and embraced the moment.
This was not about just carrying my son. It was about being able to physically pick him up and embrace him — even just for a few seconds. Both my wife and I have been fortunate. I rarely recall either of our children asking to be picked or carried. I understand this is not the case for all parents. I am also well aware that some parents can’t pick up and/or carry their children for a variety of reasons. Even after the addition our our daughter, my son rarely asked to be picked up. Believe me, I know picking up and carrying a child can be hard on the body — those burning forearms and pain in the lower back. At least we had a cheat code for carrying the children for extended periods of time. It has been a pleasure to be able to pick up and carry the kids. I know the days are numbered.
On his birthday, I recalled many great memories. Carrying my son on one arm and feeding him. Picking him up and effortlessly throwing him in the air, while he laughed. Wrestling with him– he would be the victim of the vertical suplex, the rock bottom, and body slams. One of his favorite things, before bed, was when I would pick him up and hold him upright, in front of me, with my arms locked straight. While I walked through the house, holding him, I would sing him a song as he swung his legs back and forth until we reached his crib. I think I have that on video someplace.
The frequency in which I pick him up has dramatically decreased. I have spent plenty of time thinking “why.” I think it is simple. It is life’s natural progression. Instead of being sad, I cherish that I had the opportunity to pick him up for so many years. I feel truly blessed.
If you are still lucky enough to pick up your child and hug them in your arms, do it. They will outgrow your arms and you. And that is ok. That is part of life.