This blog is called “Dads Doing Dishes and Everything Else,” but I never wrote about doing the dishes – the irony. With a family of four, one of the many constants is dirty dishes – not to mention a messy sink. There is no break. Whether it’s washing plates, bowls, or pots, it doesn’t end. Even with the help of the dishwasher – I run it in the morning and night – we can’t get ahead. My wife and I are constantly cleaning the kitchen and putting away dishes, just to see a mess a short time later.
The Routine
First thing in the morning, Monday through Friday, I empty the dishwasher and then load it again all while preparing my son’s lunch. It also happens Saturday and Sunday, but at a more leisurely pace. Most days, I don’t mind doing the dishes. But there are days, when I just can’t do it. I can’t stand to see the dirty dishes or the dishwasher. For instance, yesterday, I avoided the dishes and the sink until 12:30 PM.
By 12:43 PM, the sink was clean, and the dishwasher filled. Relief, but only temporary. You can see the before and after.
By 9:30 PM, the sink was filled with dirty dishes. Earlier, I barbecued some burgers on the grill, so we had fewer pots and pans than usual. Between us, there may have been a few more plates on the kitchen table. But this number of dishes is typical; it doesn’t stop.
Yes, I am aware paper plates exist. But I am not ready to go there yet.
I see numerous articles online about the meditative quality of dish washing. At this point in life, I am failing to get that therapeutic benefit of doing the dishes. The problem is I am either getting other food prepared or yelling at the kids (yes, I yell at times) to get ready for the shower – some type of multitasking is occurring. It is challenging to find the “enlightenment in the dishes” while you are tired and stressed.
With all that said, I know I am fortunate, and doing dishes is just a minor inconvenience.
Finding Fulfillment and Peace in the Suds
I recognize that doing the dishes has many benefits and illustrates how fortunate I am.
After I clean the dishes and the sink, I do feel accomplished – even if it is a temporary feeling – it is a task that I can start and finish, seeing the end result. Putting away the dishes and seeing a clean sink feels great – even if it lasts for only a few hours.
I also know that I am lucky to have my family. Having a sink full of dishes means everyone in the house is eating and there is an abundance of food – something I am truly thankful for. At times, we may take certain things for granted. I am thankful to be in a position to put food on the table, creating dishes to clean.
Dishes can help with family time. When things are not hectic in the morning or evening, I try to take the time to talk to my wife and/or kids while doing the dishes. It gives us the time to joke around or discuss important topics. This is extra time with the family.
I also think my kids watching me clean and trying to keep the kitchen in order will be embedded in their memory and benefit them. I know my children are watching me, all the time, and learning from my actions. I hope that watching the kitchen being cleaned will rub off on them. They are seeing what it takes to keep the house in order – hard work.
While the dishes are a never-ending chore, I try to remind myself I have the privilege of cleaning up for myself and my family. While at times, doing the dishes is a daunting and repetitive task, I try to remember that it signifies life is good. One day, when the kids are older, I know I am going to wish they were around and I had more dishes to do.